You have been kind to me, most definitely.
This is a hefty price i can never repay, perhaps. Your compassion, unconditional and ready help is something that i truly appreciate – for its rarity at a time like that, for the enthusiasm that tenderly reassures one that all will be fine.
Feelings that you harbour towards me – i am
a w a r e
and i thank you for not pressurising me into anything, and for respecting my decisions and action. I don’t know what makes me so special to you : not the beauty, not the brains, not the aimlessness and ignorance, not the idealistic soul that i am.
See you in six months, that is what we agreed on. I don’t want to leave you waiting, like Waiting for Godot. I haven’t been the nicest human, really – but you have given so much, and improved me as a being. Thank you for the time and memories, the ingenuity,
for accepting me as how i am – understanding i am full and cannot reciprocate right now, and nevertheless – for being caring and generous.
But… i hope you don’t wait.
As much as i may not know myself, i know i am not the one who will be able to help you raise your personal standards like how you have subconsciously done for me.