Silent wails

Drowned out by the pouring water from the shower head.

What was there to be sad about – amidst being blessed in abundance with friendships, constant company, and a satisfying weekend with the sister?

this is perhaps ironic – but earlier this evening – stopping to ponder: all i wanted was to be alone. the images are back, flashes of a trail before me, of tramping a journey alone.
I guess that is something i really want, now.

I don’t quite understand myself either – for half the year when my friends have been away, i yearned for them so badly. and now that they were back, i simply wanted isolation -? how odd, something isn’t right either.

perhaps it’s a loose screw that’s fallen off the tin man in Oz. but the constant meet ups with people each week – and mandatory family communication – and false little talks with those at work is stunting towards being tiresome, exhausting. And yet i go on. i try to retain some optimism and hope for others not to lose theirs.

this week, i got to meet Addeh, Elisa, Nicky and Skype-d Ong Yi.
While trying to clear the mounting piles of workload, it feels like i, too, am digging dipper into a grave consisting a stash of jade.

these people. they’re like the patronus. the ones who guide a part of your soul back to you. exhausting as it is – i wouldn’t be where i am without them. so – no matter how drained and time crunched it is, i’m content and blessed for the chance to meet up with them.

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