February lie

i still think of you
fondly, of course. It is now almost two months
that you’ve left. yet another fleeting thought, like how you took off at the end of summer break.

That conversation we had at the footway of 745
the night before you went away
leaves me smiling… silly.

occasionally
your name surfaces the family’s conversations
maybe because, you
are someone they all remember for various reasons;
fondly, too.
Like yesterday’s. Today dad has gone upstairs to fix the air conditioner:
despite being angst that he has to be doing it for us.
It made me smile, briefly, when i told him, “Don’t worry – i will make sure
the person i get together with (if ever) will be equipped with the skill.
Like you probably wouldn’t mind learning and getting down to it.

It makes me happy,
and sad. Thinking of you, that is. Because i thread on a tight rope
knowing there has to be the line between best friends
and something more. On some days the sturdy rope seems more of a fence that one
could sit on, and that thought is almost pleasant – if it were in your company.

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