Woke up teary today, as how I was when i crashed to sleep last night: incredibly drained, as if the energy’s been sucked out forcefully with a vacuum.
It wasn’t so much a TGIF; been a long time since I went to bed at 10 pm, and I wouldn’t if my conscious was awake enough to resist. The past week feels as if it were a wave, itself. Honestly, I didn’t want it to end. And now the time has come: for departures, returns, and these meanders of rationales seem to have to come to a concluding delta: dealing with reality.
I’m afraid that what has been a constant routine I’ve attuned myself so comfortably to over the past two months has now come to an abrupt halt: usual hangs, spontaneous gatherings, deep meaningful conversations, and having both my best friends going away again. I don’t remember the Goodbyes said to December and January were this painful. Agony, if measured by the amount of tears, the reasons for their flowing, sums up to be so great a concentration gradient internally and externally, that it floods in tsunamial waves.
Perhaps it is good they go away too, albeit it being a little too overwhelming to handle. Filters the distractions out – to gear up for the coming exams and prelims. What do I do then, after? That would be best thought when it is all over. 10 months would fly by soon enough, surely, aye?
if you’ve been up all night and cried till you have no more tears left in you – you will know that there comes in the end a sort of quietness. You feel as if nothing is ever going to happen again.