Imagining the 21st

In light of the upcoming 21st birthday invites, I tried to visualize what mine would be, while in the shower last night.

I saw food, and people, and the party would be Carpenters-themed; people could choose to be anyone from any of the Carpenters’ songs,  eg. The boy from Ticket to Ride, the alien from Calling all Occupants, nostalgic girl reminiscing of Yesterday Once More, etc. The obsession with their music is eternal, I grew up listening to them. Classic… and legendary.
Halt! There is no party, for there is nothing to celebrate. Half the pillars would be away by then and so… this is all but imaginary. Instead of glitz and glamour of parties and pretentious pleasantries, I am gonna save them dollars and cents to travel, wherever my heart and soul yearns. Now, that wouldn’t be imaginary; that would be reality, someday.

Amidst all idealistic expectations comes the tough part of answering people’s questions like, “What do you want for your 21st?” What an overwhelming question, of so many aspects to consider. More than often it is with regard to presents, and the answers that come out as a blurt are like, “I want to be away / I want to travel / I don’t want to be in Singapore” or something along those lines. And in evading the challenging question, the simplest response is sometimes… “I don’t know / nothing / anything”
Remember in Econs they used to preach Scarcity? Unlimited wants, limited resources.
One can only get so much out of that much.
Thinking about it all just stirs so much confusion within.
Did my 20th birthday wish come true? Yes, and it was incredibly fulfilling and I am so eternally grateful for it.
Materialistic/greedily, if there had to be something physical/an object that I wanted, it would be these:
— GoPro
— that pair of Moosehide Mocs I’ve been eyeing from Minnetonka
— a hardcovered, unique Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar
— a usable and durable fountain pen that my handwriting won’t be illegible in
— The Perfect Sketchbook (now expired)
— All things Ghibli (including that Totoro bed)
— a good French press or grinder (no, Starbucks, no)
— tattoo, (maybe)

I think that’s pretty much it.
If it had to be my 21st’s resolutions, these are what I’ve concluded thus far:
— Locks of Love again
— Diver’s license
— Backpack SEA / US / Japan 2016
(EU 2017, you are for next year!)
— Bungee jump/Skydive
— To watch Joe Hisaishi live
— Society to stop judging and be so terrified of tattoos and appreciate it as a form of art (albeit, not in excess)
— prolonged self sustainability and independence
Altogether too unattainable, but they’re just there anyway. One day.

The past few days of conversations with the Bobo and her proclamation of being “emotionally unavailable”, it seems that the shadow i have comfortably, and conveniently, slumped myself in pretty much echoes that, as well. Not really expecting anything because dreams are still better than reality, and for now this person would remain a figment of imagination unless he chooses to walk out from some daydream or nightdream. If it happens, it happens; but come what may, here’s to channeling all energy and craves to wanderment and walking in the woods that never ends.


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