As the day comes to an end, I am left with disconcerting uncertainty. I do not know, for sure, when it would be till our next meeting. Yet another pillar of support to add to the list of those who are going away. The thought of having watch you leave us and head towards the departure hall, until your shadow is nowhere to be seen – whispers, despair; It is enough to bring tears to my eyes. You know you’ve grown a shitload of tons closer when saying goodbye is even harder than it ever was. Perhaps it was because there was a looming certainty that you were home-bound and you were bounded to this ground, to have to serve the country. But now? Your duty is done, and you do not have a reason for which you are to return for. You, unlike us here, are liberated.
Hanging out with the childhood brothers sets the mind at ease. Heart to heart talks with the gym-buff brother stirs thought and thought-provoking discussions. To hear agreements and fresh perspectives – truly insightful. Every minute spent together is indeed quality time well worth. Without the phone addiction, without having to dedicate a great deal of thinking yet gain the most out of discussions – these little moments: much rare, so gold. Gym-buff brother takes a cig out for a couple of puffs; and officer-brother places a hand on his shoulder, remains silent, and solemnly looks at gym-buff brother. Cigs fall in the category of sensitive topics, but over time – we have grown to accept it. And we now speak freely of Nicorette, cigarette gums, and savings from cigarette expenses. My usual accident-prone self was on point again today, so I almost tripped and fall on several occasions. One of them was while descending a flight of stairs, and I was distracted by a Kangaroo Joey from Brenda on Snapchat. Totes embarrassing but to have them ask if I were okay at my immediate recovery, and have them to support me from the back if I were to really trip – wraps the bottom of my heart with a safety net: Thankful, i am thankful for that. Doing nothing in particular, and just going where our feet brings us, such spontaneity is a Rarity-index level 143265 in present day. To click and clique and co-exist, is indeed one of the most wondrous and wonderful wonders of the world. To have this decade-strong circle of brothers who grew up by my side and to have always watched out for one another, so that we do not stray too far, or drift apart? That is gold. I don’t think any word or string of words could ever convey to maximum accuracy, my feelings and my thoughts. (Albeit E for effort in trying yet so hopelessly)
I have never dreaded flying this much. Truth is, I love to fly. I love to travel. But, between sending the dear friend off to a land he will be there yet awhile again and a mere ‘want’, my choice would be the former, no matter how many times the question is asked. As he simply puts it, “Shit happens.” This is shit, and shit to suck up and live on with; at the expense of having the soul retrack its footsteps in the overcast heart, and let its sole bleed again and again as it threads on the pieces of broken glass.
Friends are the family you choose.