Rehabilitation

\ˈrē-ˌhab\
noun
Full Definition
Usage: often attributive
1 : the action or process of rehabilitating : rehabilitation; especially : a program for rehabilitating especially drug or alcohol abusers

– seems pretty much the way I am ridding my body of the need to be fueled on coffee. Along with completely cutting contact with the café and deleting the memories of my time there.
Certainly, I will miss the memories of the cafe: admittedly the best you can get here, the wonderful chefs who protect me as a parent would, the kitchen as an escape from troubles, the readily available supply of food that could be used to create wonders while I let my imagination take shape, and pancake breakfasts, and macchiato lungos, and the serenity of a mini urban jungle safe in the shadows of the buildings.
But as Elizabeth and Elisa have sounded: that it is unhealthy to stay at one place for too long. Been there, done that. Seen a place supposedly so quaint at its insanity, and the ugliness amidst the deceiving beauty. It is a love-hate relationship, you could say.
When the time came for me to bid farewell, i never thought I’d say this, ever. But it was l i b e r a t i n g. Trust me on this, you’re absolutely ready to quit when freedom fills your lungs. It felt like a little within me died knowing there’s less coffee in life, from now on, but very much of me was agreeing with the decision to put an end to it. To this. Having to feel like a nobody, having to be a punching bag and take the blows just for someone to find a reason to pick on your shortcomings and mess you up within. And to feel so much like nothing, just because I am a girl.  I thank my resolution for that, puking the rot out and ridding myself of such tornados within.
Indeed, there was nothing left for me to learn there, apart from having learn to let go and say no. To the cafe that will dearly be missed, and in memory of the good times and the bad that will be but a celebration of the past.

“When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits – anything that kept me small.  My judgement called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving.”

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