Strength

But how do you stay strong while you watch your best friend leave, knowing she’s going to be away for a very long time? How do you cope with it after that, wondering if she’s going to be alright, as you worry about getting used to her being so far away, in another continent – ?

I thought that I was going to conquer my long-time fear, riding on temporary highs the last few days, numb and immune to any negativity. Watching my nightmare turn into a reality with much disbelief, I tried my best to uphold the tight smile, witholding the urge of heartbreak from breaking its streak. I guess it might have been too much to contain, for the smile faded, and the lips trembled as if a brick wall that were to crumble rumbles. But when it came, the tears stung, hot and intense as raindrops embracing a land of drought lust for each other.

Petrified, all she could do was stare from a distance, while the band of tears gathered, ready to stream down her cheeks. Fading into the background, her rightful place she has always been attuned to, she tries her best to keep her sobs muted, so as to not ruin the high spirits of others. How weak, for that was all she could summon, to protest; in hopes that her best friend would not leave. Unfortunate. Despite standing in a distance, her best friend’s glimpse caught her crumbling inside, wrecked as the Titanic was after crashing into the ice berg. How odd, for noone would have noticed it, a speck, at their departure. Aaarghhhh, a horrified gasp in defeat of the tears flowing down. Indeed, her best friend understood her best. Embracing once more, she lost control of her sobs, which increased in volume, but the last words they exchanged ached the most – hers, “I hate you” and herself, “I love you”.

You could say that the pain felt was close to Voldermort’s strength depleting each time a horcrux is destroyed. As Elizabeth headed for the departure hall, reality kicked in, even harder. The thought that another chapter of her life was about to start, that she was going away for five years, that she was going to be so much further away from me and, uncontrollably, the thought of how much closer she would be to my sister. More so when they’re the ones I almost always turn to in life, sharing the juiciest juice of them all.

(momma), who will be there to support me when they go away?

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